Welcome to Pwoké Bowls, proudly serving performatively woke twists on a Hawaiian classic since 2008. Here’s this week’s offerings of the dishes that we’re not going to follow through on: 

Kamal-ahi Harris

• Californian mild rice 
• Sweet onions
• Exculpatory-document-shredded carrots
• Avocado
• Item discontinued for lack of customer interest

Momé Bloggé 

• White rice
• Sashimi
• Facebook post in Comic Sans MS about own courage in talking to people of other races while on the Buttigieg campaign trail.
• Sliced radish
• Hawaiian roll

Oberge-don’t-fall-for-it v. Hodges

• Syrupy sweet soy sauce
• Grating-Scalia-Dissent ginger
• Drizzled with a light, hollow pastiche that won’t protect your broader rights to be free from discrimination in any meaningful way
• Edamame
• Upgrade to a size XL serving of Anthony Kennedy’s self-aggrandizement

The Choomwagon

• Green onions
• Snowflake triggerfish
• Comfortably living with the legacy of Obama’s deportation policy and reliance on drone warfare
• Pineapple
• Toasted, organically sourced hemp seeds

Ally & AJ

• Handbag hot sauce
• Gochugaru
• Trail of tumblr posts that cite bell hooks
• Yellowfin tuna
• JK Rowling Clapback Cucumber Water