- Shallow (no one will mention it’s about self-harm)
- Mo Bamba (please—and I can’t stress this enough—distribute cards reminding white relatives that it’s not appropriate to sing all the words)
- Lover (in so far as one sings along to a first dance)
- No Diggity (we still won’t have developed the technology to dance to it well though 😭)
- Summer of ’69 (Ryan Adams is CANCELED)
- I Gotta Feeling (as required by federal law)
The Songs We’ll Be Singing at Weddings in 2040
