EXCLUSIVE: The tracklist for Sufjan Stevens’ upcoming album has been leaked

LoR has obtained the tracklist for Sufjan Stevens’ upcoming album, Etsy Handkerchiefs. Check out these surefire bangers:

  1. goodbye happiness, etude no. iii
  2. Wall, SD
  3. I Wish I Had Been Better Friends with Phil, the Guy Who Played Euphonium in Concert Band in High School
  4. # Actually Should Be Referred To As “Pound Sign,” Not “Hashtag”
  5. Toward a More Progressive Tax Policy in the Kingdom of Sheba
  6. Sic Semper (Rick) Moranis
  7. Get Paroxysmal!
  8. Everlane’s Shipping Costs are Too Dang High
  9. Feline AIDS
  10. Michael Dukakis
  11. Herpetology x Ornithology
  12. Tripping Acid on the Feast of Saint Joseph Day
  13. Andrew Bird Hath Released All Of My Bees, or, Our Prank War Has Escalated Into Me Stealing All Of His Old Timey Cartography Tools, or, Holy Balls I Dropped Andrew Bird’s Sextant on My Foot and it Hurts Like a Motherfucker
  14. How Do I Get Glitter Out Of My Bedsheets?
  15. Pontius Pilate’s Waltz
  16. Driving My Iguana To The Veterinarian (I’m Not Sure Whether They Treat Iguanas) 
  17. Isaac’s Bris
  18. Hark! The Washing Machine Now Charges $1.75 Per Load! 
  19. Triglycerides Are a Type of Fat (Lipid) Found in Your Blood
  20. hello sadness, etude no. viii

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