The Jungian Archetypes I Wish I Actualized

Swiss psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, and low-key dilf Carl Jung proposed that there are several archetypes—archaic symbols and images that derive from the collective unconscious—that we actualize and manifest when we interact with the outside world. Which, cool, but I have to say, it’s total bullshit that I never get to fulfill any of the good ones. Just ask my therapist. 

Anyways, here’s the Jungian archetypes that I wish I could embody just once instead of acting like my innermost child all of the goddamn time: 

  • The Cool and Intimidating Californian Teenager
  • The Hot A.P. U.S. History Teacher
  • The Trickster
  • The Version of Myself When I Attended My First Frat Party
  • My Therapist
  • The Red Power Ranger
  • The Baby Panda at the National Zoo
  • The Version of Myself When I Got My First Paycheck
  • Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving
  • The Frank Ocean
  • The Elena Kagan
  • The Instagram Account for Your Friend’s Recently Adopted Pit Mix
  • Anybody But My Father