9 Things You Have to Try Before Quarantine Ends

I can’t believe it’s been 12 weeks…wait. I can’t believe it’s been 6 wee… No way. That one’s definitely not right. I can’t believe it’s already Apr—fuck!

I can’t believe it’s been an amount of days or years since quarantine started. Crazy, right? For all of my ups and downs, I do feel truly #blessed at the special things I have been able to experience for the first time during this unprecedented time (@ brands—you feel me). To inspire you, I’ve pulled together some of my favorite moments into this list of the nine things you absolutely have to experience before quarantine ends. 

  1. Crying on a Tuesday afternoon
  2. Crying on a Wednesday morning
  3. Crying on what you thought was a Thursday night but was actually a gloomy Sunday afternoon and then crying because time has no meaning
  4. Eating a pineapple in the park on a sunny day while soaked in tears
  5. Picking up a new hobby, like uncontrollable sobbing
  6. Getting irrationally angry at your dog for saying something rude to you in Spanish then realizing your dog can’t talk and crying from your loneliness
  7. Cleaning the countertops with your tears
  8. Virtual backgammon—it’s pretty fun!
  9. Crying for four hours straight

So Cute Your Forget…

On November 4th, Donald Trump began the process of removing the United States from the Paris Climate Agreement as most of the State of California literally burned to the ground. But also — WOOK AT ITS WITTLE FACE. IT’S SO CUTE. THOSE EARS. Sure, Florida saw as many hurricanes during the summer as Rudy Giuliani has had wives BUT THOSE EYES. AND IT’S LITTLE BOOP. WHAT A LITTLE BROWN BOOP. Hopefully it won’t be here for the floods.