Ranking The Damn Monoliths

If there is one thing we know about the monoliths that have begun popping up worldwide, it’s this: they say a lot about society. 

If there are TWO things we know about the monoliths that have begun popping up worldwide, it’s this: happy monoliths are all alike; every unhappy monolith is unhappy in its own way. 

But if there are THREE things we know about the monoliths that have begun popping up nationwide, it’s this: I’m gonna rank em. 

7. The New Mexico MonolithThis monolith bored me. 

6. The Second California Monolith. I fucking hate this piece of garbage. A boring, clearly copycat influencer-bait piece of shit. It wasn’t even the first monolith in its county

5. The Romanian MonolithGarbage-ass IKEA bullshit. It’s not even a monolith, it very CLEARLY has different sections that were INEXPERTLY welded together. Piss off, you fucking poser. 

4. The First California Monolith. I honestly don’t know why San Luis Obispo thought it got to be part of this. Plus some artists or something have already taken credit, which is not how this is supposed to work.

3. The Netherlands Monolith. This monolith is fine. Underreported imo, and potentially not even real, which is a big plus honestly.

2. The Utah Monolith. The original was honestly kinda cool. Apparently it had been there for years, and it was far enough out of the way that it didn’t seem like a tourist trap. Plus no one really knows what or where Utah is, so it had an air of mystery. And it was tight when it disappeared, at least until the other ones started showing up. 

1. The Isle of Wight Monolith. Shiny. On an unnecessarily pretentious-sounding British island. Photogenic setting. Quality build. Checks all the boxes. 🤩🤩🤩

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