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  • I rewatched Friends from the beginning and I didn’t learn anything, sorry

    March 25, 2021 by

    Recently, due to my brain producing adequate levels of mood-regulating chemicals, I decided to rewatch the hit television program Friends from the beginning. This was a choice that I made because of my extreme mental wellness and overall contentment. Again, I am well. Regrettably, I did not learn anything in the process.  It did not… Read more

  • It’s Astral Weeks Szn

    March 25, 2021 by

    Sunday formally marked the end of winter and the beginning of spring. For many of us, it’s been the toughest winter we’ve seen since at least 2014, when the Seahawks won the Super Bowl and Macklemore won Best New Artist and we realized that Seattle people had become just as insufferable as Bay Area people.… Read more

  • Proposed new features of the EA Sports college football game

    March 25, 2021 by

    College football’s video game is coming back! Will the players get paid? Probably not! Aside from rectifying a system that profits off of the unpaid, mostly non-white labor pool of college football players, here is our wishlist that we’d love to see in the new game:  Newly improved post-game interviews with 1,000+ pre-programmed excuses from… Read more

  • Soul is the best movie of the pandemic

    March 25, 2021 by

    With all due respect to Palm Springs, Pixar’s Soul is the best movie to come out during the pandemic.  I’m still not quite sure how a media Death Star like Disney ended up producing one of the most internal, challenging movies I’ve ever seen and that dwells on subject matter that’s often way too difficult to confront (What… Read more

  • Superheroes for 2021

    March 25, 2021 by

    Superheroes are created to match the needs and wants of their audience. At their best, comic heroes shed light on the difficulties people are facing and provide a medium through which the audience can imagine overcoming that adversity. Captain America was created as wish-fulfillment for anti-isolationists hoping to punch Hitler right in the kisser. The X-Men… Read more

  • Godzilla And King Kong Better Fuck In That Movie

    March 25, 2021 by

    If you’re a good, red-blooded American, you’ve likely seen the flawless trailer for Godzilla vs. Kong. And if you’ve seen that trailer, there is one inescapable conclusion you’ve likely drawn: those two are going to fuck, right? Don’t get me wrong—I know what they want you to think; these are two terrifying proto-monsters hellbent on destroying each other and everything… Read more

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