Wherein we rate people’s vibes. Here’s this week’s vibe check:
Meghan Markle: her vibes are… SPRING BREAAAAKKK!! 🎉 Meg’s here for a good time not a long time, and she’s not about to spend her prime years with some musty old royals. DGAF YOLO, party in the hills tn!!
Megan Thee Stallion: her vibes are… STUDIOUS. 🤓 If your favorite rapper isn’t majoring in healthcare administration at Texas Southern University, then I hate to tell you but that’s not your favorite rapper. That’s just a townie you ran into outside an Amoco L.
Carlos Beltran: his vibes are… GUILTY. ⚖️ I’m not entirely sure what he did, although I understand it involved buzzing a garbage can to take photos of fingers. And I’m not entirely sure what the punishment should be, though I understand Texas is extremely pro-death penalty. But I do know that the Senate must commit to a fair trial and then find him extremely guilty.
Carlos Ghosn: his vibes are… INNOCENT. 😇 One of the coolest things about law is that if you escape to Lebanon (?) in an audio equipment box (??) aboard a private jet (!!!) from an airport that doesn’t send big boxes through security cause they’re too big (?!?!), you’re legally cleared of all charges. Kudus to Carlos for taking advantage!
Left on Read 