Historians by and large agree that when Thomas Paine said “these are the times that try men’s souls,” he was talking about the bad tweets that bad people are tweeting about the coronavirus. This is known, but the real question is… what’s the worst coronavirus take out there?
Below are a few contenders, from some of the worst minds online.
*spends the next seventy years developing a time machine*
*travels back in time to D-Day*
*runs gasping to the shores of Normandy, shouting “one day basketball will be superseded by a global pandemic”*
*Dwight Eisenhower himself shoots me for being an annoying little bitch*
*I die happy*
Ah yes. If we vote for leftists we might end up with a future as awful as the present. This is galaxy brain stuff and I, for one, stan it.
This is the dude who wore a gas mask on the floor of the House as a joke. Now he’s going on state news to make the world’s worst ok boomer joke. There’s nothing all that offensive in this joke, but he’s terrible and his eyes are creepy and I’m pretty sure he was supposed to be in quarantine?
Calling the novel coronavirus “China Virus” is so vile, bigoted, xenophobic, and disgraceful that only someone whose face is 20–30x too small for his head (or someone who was selected by the electoral college to run the world) could say it. Putting that aside for a moment — we’ll come back to it — the great news he’s accusing the media of hiding is… THREE PEOPLE have recovered, out of thousands of confirmed cases? That’s the definition of dystopian nightmare fuel. Speaking of nightmares, Charlie Kirk is a racist piece of shit :).
Folks, what the fuck are we even doing here? This is some absolutely wild mashup of liberal nostalgia porn and a misplaced desire for THE GUY WHO DID KATRINA TO COME HANDLE THIS CRISIS.
But we know there are worse takes out there. Please send them our way, we need something to sustain in these trying times.