Conference Call Do’s and Don’ts

If you’re anything like us, you’re a busy business person who does important business. That probably means you had to trade board rooms for Zoom rooms, thanks to The Ro Ro. However, that’s no need to worry. We’re here to help you with important do’s and don’ts for conference call etiquette:

Do: Keep your camera on at the start of the call to pressure everyone into turning theirs on too, even if — especially if — they don’t want to.

Don’t: Wear pants. Why would you wear pants, prude?

Do: Stroke the nearest dog, cat or roommate within reach to look intimidating while you speak.

Don’t: Accept invites for “virtual happy hours” from work.

Do: Go five-drinks deep with your friends on Google Hangouts this Wednesday.

Do: Ask everyone to repeat themselves, no matter how well you can hear them.

Don’t: Speak. This is like every other meeting. The goal is to say as little as possible.

Do: Interrupt others and stammer as if you have something to say then sit silently for minutes until everyone realizes this was a mistake and cancels the call.

Don’t: Ask “how is everyone doing?” It’s bad. We’re all doing bad. This is bad. 

Do: Zone out and ignore the call until somebody asks you a question, and then say, “Sorry, I think the feed cut out” 

Don’t: Set your Zoom background to the ISIS flag. Or do! Whatever, it’s The Purge!

Do: Mute your camera when you have to fart, but show with your facial expression that you are very clearly farting.

Don’t: Freebase blow. It’s difficult to share virtually and you can’t assume all other call participants have access.

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