- Keep talking to people about my sourdough starter
- Go back to letting the faucet run without actually washing my hands, just so people outside the bathroom don’t judge me
- Touch
- Produce Season 2 of Netflix’s Tiger King
- Hold the subway poles with my mouth
- Watch NFL football
- Feel
- Proclaim to be pro-science on things like climate change, but quietly hold an internal skepticism of vaccines
- Get seriously injured and waltz into the hospital
- Hold
- Greet all strangers with an open mouth kiss
- Scream, “I missed you, man!” at every passing stranger
- Continue going on walks wearing a bandana around your mouth like an 8-year-old dressed up as a cowboy
- Stop tipping delivery drivers for a few months, to balance things back out
The Worst Things We’re Going to Do When Quarantine Ends
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