Five Outlets for Your Quarantine Loneliness

So you’re rolling into week nine of quarantine, and let’s just say things are getting a little desperate. Your roommate abandoned you for their family home in Connecticut (with a fucking pool) WEEKS ago, and the closest thing you’ve experienced to human contact is when you accidentally got within a foot of your neighbor during the social distancing hallway dance then both of you sprinted away. Tinder has gotten intensely introspective and the dark corners of the internet have lost their shine. That boule though…It’s looking pretty…tasty. And it’s not the only one.

Here are five sourdough breads that look good enough to fuck.

5. Scored for your pleasure

4. It even comes with lube

3. I mean, wouldn’t you?

2. Look at those curves

  1. Sploosh

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